Salt Water Flush and other things

Okay, well I decided to do the salt water flush this morning. I read that it takes effect in about an hour if you have a small(ish) amount of the salt/water mix. Well see if that's true. I've going to do it once a day for the entire week, so maybe I can lose five pounds this week, which would bring me down to 130. My god, it makes me feel so sick, though. Ulgh (because that's a word). Disgusting, but not as disgusting as this weight.

I might try the Master Cleanse, too. It's a free e-book. Look at it here:http://mastercleansesecrets.com/landing/lemonadediet.php.
Anyone one want to try it with me? I don't know if I can do it, what with my mother and things, but I'll maybe take the basic idea and transform it into something I can do.

You know, I've discovered something. The measurements don't matter so much for me, you know -  hips, stomach, bust. The number on the scale completely controls me. I mean, I love that my waist is getting smaller, my thighs are slowly separating, and I can hold my wrist with my fingers touching, but it's not as important as the number on the scale. The scale is my idol and my devil.

I remember when I was really little I would go into my grandparents bathroom and play with their scale. I would lift myself up and press down as lightly as possible to see the smallest number on the scale possible. I found it to be about 12 pounds, on that scale. Every time the number would dip a little, I would get so excited and try to press down lighter, to see a lower number. I was about five or six at the time.
If I was doing that at that age, I wonder how long I've had 'diagnosable' issues...

Anyway, I start school in the morning. So happy. I just washed my face really really well and scrubbed my hands like crazy. Some times, I have to do that. I have to get every little piece of dead skin (and some of the perfectly healthy stuff) off me, in order to weigh just a little bit less. Look just a little bit more thin. Even if it's just a teeny tiny amount. You know, there are two pounds of dead skin on you right now. Not mine. Haha.
I do things like this. Get every possible source of weight off. I wash my hair a lot, I take off all my nail polish, and all my make up. I brush my teeth like crazy, until every teeny piece of plague is gone. I cut my nails, I take (weak) laxatives and I feel so much better. Like maybe I can continue to lose weight. When I do this I 'lose' about a pound and a half. Granted, it all comes back, but still. It makes me feel so much better.
I think I'm going to that when I get home, since I can't take laxatives right now. I'm going too school in three hours so...
by laxatives I mean the recommended dose, with things like mineral oil. Nothing major, something normal people would do.
The idea of using laxatives for anything other than about a monthly cleanse, scares me like crazy. I don't know, I'm a freak for control and anything that would make me lose control - of anything -  scares me.