Okay, so for a while I was really slipping. Eating a bunch of shit and going into the thousand every other day. And the most depressing thing was I couldn't say no. It was like, 'Oh I'm hungry. Let's eat something'. Like a normal person. It was nasty. I seriously began to question this whole thing, but I'm back on board 110%. I've been eating about 500 calories a day for the last week, which is pretty good. I went into the 700s yesterday, but the rest of the week was between 400-800, which isn't too bad.
I'm going to post my intakes for the past few weeks. It will also go on my post when I post my intakes for September, but I'll post these now. I'm working on a post with a list of exercises to burn fat, but it's taking a while. I'll probably finish it later tonight.
So far in September:
1st - 1600 (highest recorded intake, ever.)
2nd - 775
3rd - 570
4th - 1350
5th - 345
6th - 950
7th - 780
8th - 1450
9th - 1160
10th - 500
11th - 820
12th - 480
13th - 450
14th - 740
Eww. I feel like I eat a lot in comparison to normal people. But then I think I don't. I don't know. I feel like 1600 would be a lot to anyone, but 345 would be low. Maybe having 700 as normal, for normal people. But then rationally I think that people eat more than that.
Anyway, I gained four pounds from 131 (So I was stuck at 135 for a long time) and now I'm 133. That makes me really happy. Because I've been at 135 for WEEKS now. the number refused to move. I was tempted to eat everything in sight just to change the goddamn number. So I get to change the sidebar now! Yay! Still not even close to good enough. I'm not really what I would consider my goal weight now. Somewhere between 100 - 115, I think. Maybe lower, maybe a tinny bit higher. It depends on how I look when I weigh that much (because I know I can do it!), I don't want to have skin hanging off me, but I want to be able to see my ribs clearly. And my hip bones. I mean, who does't think hip bones are sexy?
It scares me so much to think of staying at this weight. It terrifies me. I mean, being stuck at this weight forever? God. It brings on this horrible feeling, like I might rip myself apart. I think if the scale doesn't start going down faster, I might go crazy. Really crazy. Non-stop screaming crazy.
So, we're going out to dinner tonight. Yay! (not)
I hate going out to dinner, because I always stuff my face. So i'm asking to go to this Asian place, and I'm looking up the dishes there to find what has the least calories and I'm going to drink A LOT of diet soda, so it fills me up. I'm drinking a lot of water right now, so that I don't eat as much. I'm going to eat vegetarian, I know that much. I'm thinking about trying out being vegetarian, because I already only eat chicken and turkey. So it wouldn't be too difficult.
The thing is everything at the Asian place has white sauce on it. White sauce is over 360 calories per cup! THREE HUNDRED SIXTY calories in a CUP! EW!
I am leaning toward sushi, since it doesn't have sauce and they have kinds that doesn't have white rice, but tofu. I think that would be good and non-fattening. The lowest calorie count would be avocado rolls. I could do that. Those are only 140 calories per roll, and you get two rolls so it would only be 280 calories, which isn't bad since all I've had was 100 calories worth of granola. The rolls are the big rolls with the individual thingies, not the little 'bars'. If that makes sense. But I might not, because they are REALLY expensive. God. I hate this. I'll search the menu and find something that's not too fattening. I can do it. Plus I won't eat all of what I get, anyway.
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